Stormy: The NRA Friendly Deer

Part of my professional training as a librarian is to find information for public, no matter what my personal beliefs may be. I think I'm more lax than most people about what I think belongs in the library. Romance novels that tread the same ground as soft-core porn don't bother me a bit. Nor does any profanity or sex-education for teens and children. Books with directions on how to build bombs wouldn't bother me either, if I ever saw any.

So while I will get somebody a book on how to trap animals, or hunt, or cook beef, the vegetarian in me screams a silent protest.

Then a couple days ago, I found this children's book, titled Stormy Find the New Forest. And while I'll admit that it has a place among my library shelves, I'll air my passive-aggressive thoughts about it here on the blogosphere. Am I being a naughty librarian?

It's called Stormy Finds the New Forest. The author's name is Tom Storm. How did Mr. Storm come up with such an imaginative name for this deer that he's writing about? Surely, he's pure genius. I need to write a story about a froggy name Waughy.

And notice the thick eyelashes. The cover is the whole reason I picked it up in the first place. Oh, what a cute deer, with such thick eyelashes. So innocent, so pure.

So I flipped to the middle of the book to see what is was about. Here's the text:

One beautiful summer day Stormy was following a clear cold stream that took a sharp turn, and suddenly he found himself in the middle of the barnyard. Near a large red barn, Stormy saw a small boy. The boy had a long object in his hands that was making a loud noise. The boy looked at Stormy and said, "Hi, I'm Joey. What's your name, little deer?"

Stormy answered shyly, "My name is Stormy. What are you doing, Joey?"

"This is my 22 rifle and I'm shooting at that target for practice."

"Practice for what?" asked Stormy.

"Someday I am going to be a hunter like my mom and dad," answered Joey.

Stormy's eyes got big. "OH! Now that I live here are you going to hunt me?" asked Stormy.

I love the use of adjectives: "clear cold stream, sharp turn, large red barn, small boy, long object, loud noise". It's so Dr. Seuss, isn't it?

After some thought, Joey said, "We'll be friends, Stormy, and I won't hunt you, but I will hunt the other deer in the forest. My father says that hunting helps the deer because there are too many of them. Too many deer in a forest causes them to die from hunger and sickness. If this happens then someday there won't be any deer left in our forest. My family and I love animals and would be very sad if the forest had no more animals."

Stormy wondered out loud, "Can anyone get a gun and hunt in the forest, Joey?"

I think it's funny that Joey had to think about it "after some thought". Think about it. You have a gun, and you're shooting it in order to practice killing deer. But you're not actually hunting deer yet. Then a deer surprises you in the middle of your practice to ask you what you're are doing. You're like a deer caught in the headlights.

It's like that scene from Hotel Rwanda when someone asks what all the machetes are about. Well, maybe it's a bad comparison.

You know I love cats and dogs. Maybe if instead of feeding them, I killed some of them, then they would all be better off.

"Oh, no, Stormy! Everyone must first take a Hunter Education and Safety Course. There are volunteer teachers such as my father who teach students how to handle guns and hunt safely." Joey proudly noted, "As soon as I pass my Hunter Education and Safety Course, I'll have my hunting license and be able to hunt with my family. Come with me and I'll show you where my father is teaching right now."

"Hunter Education and Safety sounds like a good idea," said Stormy.

Oh, Stormy. You are so stupid. But Charlton Heston would be proud of you.

Update: Sally points out that there's a glowing review of Stormy on Amazon.

Wonderful Children's Book, August 24, 2000 Reviewer: Trent (Billings, MT USA)

Stormy finds the new forest is an eye catching, attention holding, educational journey from cover to cover. The illustrations by Lori Powell are warm and colorful, and truly bring the characters to life! Tom Storm has written a children's masterpiece, and a unique story that teaches readers about impotant and timely issues such as conservation of natural resources, wildlife management and safety. This book is a must read for children of all ages!!!