Standing in the Shower Thinking...Again

I've noticed that along with a drop in water pressure, my shower cools off a bit whenever my wife uses the outside faucets to water her roses. Hot water=not watering. Cool water=watering. Off and on according to the trigger of the spray nozzle. I realized that I could deduce when she is walking between plantings, and also where she was. Long stretches of hot water meant she was in the back yard watering the broadly spaced plantings. Shorter bursts of hot water meant she was walking between the more closely placed plantings in the front yard.

I started to wonder about other ways in which I could glean information about my wife from my shower. Perhaps....the shower goes cool for a long time. I start to wonder, it is not like my wife to keep the watering at such a constant. Minutes pass, and still no hot water. Maybe I even scream, "Turn the hose off! You're wasting water!" But she can't hear it, of course. But as the cool water continues, my mild annoyance turns into panic. What if she is in danger? Has she been kidnapped? Or even worse, fallen into the abandoned well? I turn off the water and hear the distant barking of Gunter, our loyal dachshund. It sounds like there is trouble!

Quickly I jump out of the shower and wrap myself in my flannel bathrobe and I run out of the back door. I see the hose trailing into the distance into our back 40. I follow it past the fountains and the topiary. It weaves in between the statues of our statue garden. In the distance I hear Gunter. The hose leads into a thicket. Fighting the brambles, Gunter leads me into a clearing and where I find the hose trailing off the edge of a terrible precipice. Dangling at the end of the hose is my hapless wife, water spewing onto her face so that she can hardly call for help for fear of drowning in the water. I tell her to hold on as I pull the hose (Gunter helping me by pulling too). With my wife once on solid ground again I take the hose from her trembling hands and turn it off. We turn back toward the house, leaving the hose on the ground, unwrapped.

(Here is a previous story about me standing in the shower thinking)